MINDFULNESS

Learning to introduce mindfulness in everyday life will be an incredibly powerful pathway to give you a break from your evil leprechaun’s chatter. It’s learning to pay attention, in the present moment, with purpose and nonjudgmentally. It’s as simple as that!

We’re hardly ever in the present moment. We’re either worrying about the past or thinking about what might happen in the future. If we were to hear a loud bang outside or see a beautiful view, this would bring us back into the present. Here and now is where we want to be.

It's like pressing the pause button of your mind, giving you a break from the constant, never-ending chatter in your mind

Much research has been carried out on the multiple benefits of mindfulness and eating disorders, particularly bulimia. Studies show it can relieve several psychological and physical issues. For example: 

• Obsessive thoughts
• Stress
• Anxiety 
• Depression
• Low self-esteem
• Chronic pain
• Insomnia
• Lower blood pressure

My clients with an eating disorder whom I’ve taught mindfulness also found it hugely beneficial for: 

• Cultivating self-compassion
• Building a strong sense of self-awareness and self-identity
• Mindfulness eating    

WHAT IS URGE SURFING AND HOW CAN IT HELP YOU RIGHT NOW?

Now you have an awareness of mindfulness and a further understanding of your patterns that create these urges and spent time sitting in your space between them; you’re now going to take this further with learning to surf those urges to binge.

Alan Marlatt, a psychologist and pioneer in the area of alcohol addiction, developed urge surfing from mindfulness. We can learn to take back control over how we react to our urges. They aren’t dangerous and won’t kill us; they’re just feelings.

Let me explain. How often, when you’re trying to control yourself and not binge, you consciously try to distract yourself by watching TV or spending time on your phone playing a game? Does this distraction work for you?

Urge surfing is sitting with that urge, using your breath and attention to ride the wave out, turning toward it rather than fighting it, going with the sensations you’re thinking and feeling and riding them just like a professional surfer rides the waves. So rather than trying to distract yourself from your unbearable urges, ride with them; allow them to be there.

Your urges are similar to a wave that sweeps over you. It starts as a ripple in a calm seabed. Then as it slowly drifts forward, builds up, becoming bigger and bigger until it finally crashes over onto the seashore then calmly recedes. It continually returns in this never-ending cycle.

We might not have control over the enormous urge or 15-foot wave right now, but we can learn to surf it, go with it, as we do have control over how we react to it.

TIME TO LEARN THIS FANTASTIC SKILL OF URGE SURFING

You may not find this easy, so it’s essential to be kind and compassionate with yourself because, instead of trying not to think about the unbearable urge to binge, you will turn toward the urge and stay closely with it. It's about getting to know it, sitting with it, and feeling it.

The key is to build up your confidence. Let's be honest. You wouldn't jump from a boat into the sea to go surfing if you couldn't swim. First, you need some lessons.

Before we begin the exact steps on how to urge surf, let's start with less intense urges. I want you now to think about an urge you had recently, preferably not one connected with food, maybe something like looking at social media on your phone or checking an email or text message.

Find a quiet, comfortable place, have your phone nearby so you can see it.

Look at your phone and imagine an important text has come in (turn notifications off, so it’s easier to imagine the important text coming in. If notifications are on, you will know that no text has come in). The urge to read it increases, so tune in and make this urge as clear as possible and then see if you can become aware of all the different sensations that come forward.

Grab your notebook and answer these questions:

ASK YOURSELF:                                                                     YOUR ANSWERS:

How does it make you feel?          

Where in the body is that

feeling?

How intense is it?    

Does it have a color?         

What thoughts are you having?   

Do you have an image in your

mind of the urge?    

Stay with all these sensations and notice how they change over time. Use your breath to help you breathe through this. Simply focus on your breathing, noticing each breath as your breath in and out.

Wow, there you go, you did it. You have successfully broken through your first urge.

Usually, an urge lasts for 20 minutes. Giving in to your urges makes them even more powerful. This is the last thing you want right now.

So, if you were to sit with your urge, many negative thoughts and feelings of panic and fear could come up that may intensify the urge. It could be a thought like I’m scared, or I’m a failure that makes it even more powerful. These will eventually gradually subside, but they’ll take a lot longer than if you learned to urge surf.

ARE YOU READY TO SURF THAT URGE?

Here we go, so, as you watched in the video how to urge surf below are the specific steps discussed to begin to break this pattern of unbearable urges connected to your bulimia. Remember, you need to build up your confidence.

Step 1

Let’s practice mindfulness. Find a quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes and, with your mouth closed, focus your attention on your breathing. Feel the air coming in through your nostrils, your chest lifting and falling, your stomach rising and falling. Focus on all aspects of your breathing, and if you notice your mind wandering off and thinking about something else, kindly, not judgmentally, bring it back to your breath.

Do this for approximately two minutes. To help you focus on your breathing, think to yourself as you inhale, breath in, and exhale with breath out.

(If this all becomes too much and you are worried that by thinking about your urge it may bring on a binge, then focus on your breathing, the air coming in through your nose, your chest and stomach rising and falling, and stay with your breath until you feel ready to focus again on your urge.)  

Alternatively, zip back to your phone urge, checking a text, as you need to build up your confidence first with this technique).

Step 2

When you’re ready, in your mind's eye, imagine a difficult situation that causes the urge to binge, then simply sit back and notice:

Where in the body do you feel the unbearable urge? For some, it may be their stomach or chest.

If you’re struggling to connect with your urge, then think back to a time when you had an urge that was related to your bulimia.

The reason we breathe in and out through our nose when practicing mindfulness is that it helps to calm and ground the mind. But if your nose is stuffed with a cold or allergies, by all means, breathe through the mouth). 

Step 3

Once you’re aware of where in the body you feel the unbearable urge, become aware of the sensations connected to your urge, and just observe them.

Complete the URGE SURFING LEARNINGS (Part 2) table in Step 3, in your workbook. Otherwise, grab your notebook and answer these questions:

This time, write in more detail about your urges.

ASK YOURSELF:                                                                       YOUR ANSWERS:

What does it feel like?

Pressure? Tension?

Tingly? Warm or cool?       

Where in the body is that feeling?

How intense is it?    

How big is it?           

Does it move, or is it still?  

Does it have a color?         

What thoughts are you having?   

Do you have an image in your mind of the urge?                     

Notice how the urges are like waves. They slowly build, come to a peak, and crash down. Stay with the event for as long as you can. It's best to start with five minutes and just observe the waves. Even though you aren’t responding at this moment, the urges lessen and floats away. Look at you like a real surfer riding the wave.

The urge may change. Some may be a little swell, others may be a massive tidal wave, but stay with whatever comes up. Surf, surf, surf.

Step 4

Bring your focus back to your urge and notice how it has changed. Becoming aware of all the sensations.

Imagine the wave as an unbearable urge and see if you can tune into it as it builds up and then eventually hits a peak, then falls and subsides. Imagine you’re a professional surfer and use your breath to help you to ride the wave.

Stay with the sensations as they begin to build again, notice the peak, then be aware as it dissolves back down.

As the wave begins to build, imagine you are standing on a surfboard and ride the waves.

Great, you’re a real surfer; you’ve done it! Congratulations! You can be present, experience your urges, and not react. You now have begun to break free from that urge. Fabulous!

Whenever you feel the unbearable urge beginning to build, take time out, and start surfing your urges. In the beginning, see how long you can stay with it, set a timer, start with five minutes, then build up to ten minutes, then fifteen minutes and so on.

I would like you to practice your new skill of urge surfing at least twice a day and work up to four times a day. Over time, you’ll become a professional surfer.

The urges to binge become easier to surf, and as this happens, you’ll feel excited that you’re beginning to take control of your life.

"YOU CAN'T START THE NEXT CHAPTER OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU KEEP

RE-READING THE LAST ONE"