SO, WHAT ARE THE REASONS PEOPLE GET BULIMIA?

You may have an idea of why you have bulimia, or maybe you don't. My brain was one complete muddle of confusion as to why I was engulfed in this uncontrollable behavior. Having a clearer understanding of how you’ve gotten there will be so incredibly powerful in helping you to clearly see how you’re going to break all your negative habits and patterns.

Let's begin by looking at the reasons why people develop bulimia.

ABUSE AND BULIMIA

Most people with bulimia have been preoccupied with dieting and food for many years. Their binge and purging behavior may be triggered by trauma from abuse. From multiple studies taken, there’s a higher possibility that if you’ve been sexually abused when young that you’ll develop bulimia. And with that comes colossal feelings of shame, guilt, and need for a way to numb the emotions connected to that memory. It could be a way to punish themselves, or it could be a kind of comfort or protection, for when someone has been sexually abused, the world can then feel unsafe.

When people are sexually abused, their boundaries of themselves have been violated, which can have a detrimental effect on their eating habits and body image. This also can have such an immense impact that it can become challenging to recognize feelings of hunger, tiredness, or sexuality.

So, turning to food is a way to cope with their feelings and to release a multitude of negative emotions that actually have nothing to do with real hunger. The bubbling confusion and uncertainty about themselves brings their focus to food.

You may feel a loss of control over your safety. With bulimia, this pattern of behavior will be providing relief from distressing feelings, unconsciously regaining feelings of control and safety. Your intention isn’t the pain but the good emotions or pleasure that you get from this. You’re looking for ways to relieve the pain by bingeing and purging to get that "high" or pleasure afterward.

I was sexually abused when I was young. The multitude of feelings I had in connection with the abuse was buried so deep within me, and this pattern continued for 25 years until I was ready to face it, talk about it, work through all the beastly feelings, and then let them go.

NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE

What is body image?

 Body image is identified as your thoughts, opinions, and attitude about how you look. It's sadly not uncommon to dislike your appearance, and people who develop bulimia are more likely to report higher levels of body image dissatisfaction.

A negative body image is a distorted view of your shape. Plus, along with this comes all those self-destructive feelings of self-consciousness, shame, and anxiety.

A positive body image is a realistic view of how your body looks. Feeling comfortable and confident about what you see, accepting your natural body size and shape.

BODY DYSMORPHIA

What is body dysmorphia?

Body dysmorphia, also known as imagined ugliness, in which your imagination, as powerful as it is, goes wild and becomes extremely confused with how you look. You could have a minor flaw, say a pimple, that you embellish into an ugly beast, then scratch it to increase the ugliness.

Body dysmorphia can also include:

Continually asking for reassurance on your looks

Changing your clothes constantly

Becoming obsessed with grooming yourself

It can become so extreme and distressing with the flow of never-ending feelings of shamefulness that you may not want to be seen by anyone.

Many people have areas of their bodies they aren’t happy with. But research shows that approximately 80% of people with body dysmorphia report they have experienced suicidal thoughts, which is 10 to 25 times more intense than the general population.

BODY DYSMORPHIA AND BULIMIA

Many people with bulimia suffer from body dysmorphia symptoms. Usually, the focus is on the body weight or the shape and checking their body for any flaws, intensifying the negative feelings and thoughts you may have about your weight and shape.

I remember when I was in the depths of bulimia, every time I looked in the mirror, all I could see was a bulbous fat lump! This wasn't true; I was skinny and totally distorted what was in that mirror. So, for your recovery, it’s essential that you now stop looking in any mirror. They’re doing you so much harm and will hinder your fantastic vision of recovery.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM

What is low self-esteem?

Having bulimia is terrible enough, but along with this comes low self-esteem, which is struggling with:

• Feelings of Inadequacy
• Looking at faults in your character
• Feeling incompetent in some way
• Feeling unlovable

Low self-esteem causes you to think and feel as if you aren’t good enough in how you look, how you perform at school or work, and how you relate with friends and family. It’s as if your life had no value and purpose.

Do you think you have low self-esteem?

If you do, it will take time to change; these negative thoughts and feelings may have been there for a long time.

Although, if you’re still starving yourself, your brain and your body will be malnourished, and you’ll find it difficult to change your thoughts and feelings connected to low self-esteem rationally.

Working through the steps in this book, you can begin to learn how to value and believe in yourself, and appreciate YOU for the incredibly wonderful, beautiful individual you are.

WESTERN CULTURE AND THE UNREALISTIC

Oh yes, you’re surrounded by stunning slim models with the ideal body everywhere you look, in magazines, posters, TV, and social media.

You’re influenced to think that these women are of average weight and body shape, and this is where we get the belief that being thin is going to make us popular, happy, and successful. But alas, this is an unrealistic view of life. These images become unconsciously seeded into our minds, even though part of us knows that the images are inaccurate.

A study of Fiji islanders is a great example:

In 1995, the island of Fiji had no reported cases of bulimia, anorexia, or weight problems because they had no access to television, which was marvelous. But once the TV was introduced and after three years of watching American and British TV shows, more than two-thirds of Fijian girls had learned how to diet, and three-quarters of them felt "too fat." Such negative learning for these girls is a perfect example of the life we live in.

So much research has shown that this exposure leads us to body dissatisfaction and striving to replicate the unrealistic slim models, which then causes eating disorders, including bulimia.

BULLYING

Many of my clients discuss how they were bullied when younger, particularly as teenagers. With hormones floating where they shouldn't, they can often become extremely conscious of their physical appearance.

Consequently, if they are bullied about their weight, size, shape, or looks, huge painful emotions can sweep in, causing feelings of shame and sadness and leading to further unruly thinking, such as insecurities, low self-esteem, body image, and depression.

Nowadays, with so much social media, teenage discussion, and peer pressure to look a certain way, to fit into what they think others find appropriate, they feel they must take action, and in steps the big B - bulimia.

Being bullied can bring on feelings of being out of control. Developing bulimia gives them a sense of control back, so at least they can control one area of their life, even if it’s detrimental.

THE DREADED WORD …DIETING!

Dieting is one of the most influential risk factors for developing bulimia. It affects your brain, influencing mood changes, increasing the preoccupation around food and negativity around body issues. Focusing on dieting can become a great escape to what? Oh, yes, to what you are genuinely thinking and feeling.

If you want to fail… then diet!

Any thoughts of dieting must stop; diets don't work. Some lose weight dieting. But they end up putting all the weight back on and usually with extra rolls of fat also.

That’s because they haven't addressed the real reasons why they were reaching out for foods when they weren’t hungry. Plus, they haven’t explored the unconscious triggers, links, and patterns of their real thoughts and feelings.

STRESSES IN LIFE

 Stress is how your body responds to different pressures from a situation. Too much stress can affect your attitude, body, and relationships and can vary from person to person, making you feel anxious or grouchy.

It could be connected to a significant change in your life, such as:

·        A change of job

·        Move to a new home

·        Maybe a relationship issue like rejection from a boyfriend or divorce

·        Death of a loved one 

Significant changes like these could increase the risk of developing bulimia.

For me, apart from my abuse when younger, I believe one of the reasons I developed bulimia was because, at the age of 17, I was released from the strict but relatively stress-free confinements of boarding school. I was then suddenly faced with the stress of coping on my own in the big overwhelming lonely town called London. My mother, remarried, sold our family home and moved to another area.

For more information on stress, see Step 5.

PERFECTIONISM

Are you perfect? I hope not!

Perfectionism is setting unrealistically high expectations for yourself, which is difficult ever to ever achieve because, no matter, it could always be better. And if you haven't achieved this goal, then, here comes your evil voice to beat you up. If you try to be consistently perfect and portray an ideal image, you cannot be genuine; you can’t be true to yourself.

Focusing on assignments, work deadlines become overwhelming as you create pressure on yourself to achieve and make perfect. And when this isn't met, the great FoF comes in – Fear of Failure.

If a perfectionist is trying to lose weight to have that "perfect" appearance, whatever that may be—but I don't think it actually exists—the pressure piles up. If they aren’t achieving their weight loss goals and put on a pound, then in swarms the huge FoF. The feelings of low self-worth engulf them, which then can lead to:

·        Compulsively exercising

·        An increase in laxatives or diuretics

·        Counting calories

·        Bingeing and purging

FAMILIES

Oh, we love our families, or do we! Unfortunately, we can learn their harmful habits and behaviors. Studies of families have found that if a parent or sibling has an eating disorder, this can increase a person's risk of developing an eating disorder also.

If they’re forever discussing their weight, size, and shape or over-exercising, the child will learn this is acceptable behavior and follow likewise.

If they’re judgmental about others and their weight, the child will learn then that how they look in their body is a measure of self-worth, and they could worry that they too will be judged or worry about a poor body image.

If they’re overprotective and wanting perfection, they’ll put pressure on the child, having high expectations for a huge achievement

Then if they can’t live up to all that’s wanted from them and they can't control all they need to do. The FoF slithers in, and they may look elsewhere for something that they can control, which is dieting. That could lead them to binge and purging. And the whole bulimia cycle begins.

Troubling issues within the family may also be the cause of bulimia; if a person is from a family with many negative behaviors, such as alcoholism, drug addiction, marital fighting, divorce, or domestic violence, these could contribute to bulimia.